Hermione's Revenge
by Calette
Summary: PG 13 cause of...errr...stuff that Draco does. Summary, Hermione finally get's sick of Malfoy and his arrogent ways so she cooks up her own little revenge... R&R folks!


Hermione's Revenge

Hermione's Revenge

**By Wicked_Lady**

** **

Disclaimer: I own nothing. So don't sue.

Feedback is a wonderful, wonderful drug and I'm addicted. The more the better.

Summary: Hermione gets sick of Malfoy always teasing her and gets her rather…uhhhh…. shall we say _unconventional_ revenge. Hehehe. R&R at the bottom please and you'll be invited to the party [you'll understand that later]

Another day another Care of Magical Creatures class with the Slytherins. Hermoine grimaced. It wasn't that she didn't like COMC classes; it was just that she didn't like having them with the Slytherins. They were all such an unbearable lot. Especially that Malfoy. UGH! How he made her want to scream in frustration! He was going to get what was coming to him someday, Hermione promised herself. Lost in her train of thought, someone pushed her to the ground.

"Watch where your going Mudblood." It was Malfoy. "I don't want to have to touch you again." The Slytherin girls behind him giggled.

"Well maybe if you weren't so dense Malfoy you would have seen me." Hermione said as she got up and brushed herself off. The Gryffindors who overheard laughed. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have a class to get to. Hermione walked off, well aware of Malfoy glaring at her behind her back. Hehehe, Hermione: 1, Malfoy: 0.

In class they were learning about Mugwigs. They were a funny sort of creature, small, with a brownish hide they looked like dogs that fairly resembled humans. Like Nifflers, they searched for things using their long snouts to sniff the objects out, but they weren't limited to gold. Hagrid told them all about the Mugwigs.

"They seem like stupid creatures." Malfoy drawled out. "Figures you would pick something like these to teach us." Hagrid opened his mouth to respond, but Hermione beat him to it.

"Well, they can't possible be as stupid and as vapid as you are." She spat out.

"Take that back Mudblood." Malfoy said, standing up.

"Make me." She stared him down, looking him right in the eye. They both reached for their wands when Hagrid jumped in between them.

"Now I won' 'av any fighting' in one o' my classes. You two will jus' 'av to settle this some other way." He said, looking at them both. Hagrid seemed to tower over them both. Slowly Malfoy put away his wand.

"Alright, a contest then. We'll both pick a Mugwig and whoever picks the one that finds the most objects wins." Malfoy looked at Hermione, as if to challenge her to object.

"Fine then, the loser has to…do whatever the winner says. One task." Hermione crossed her arms and stared Malfoy down.

"Alright then." He looked right back.

'Now I've already hidden objects in preparation for today's lesson, but we can do this instead." Hagrid smiled. "Pick your Mugwig."

"I'll have that large one over there. The one that's taller then the others and has the really long snout." Malfoy pointed to the one he wanted and Hagrid brought it over. 

"What about you Harm? Which one?" Hagrid looked at her.

"Hmmm…. I guess I'll have the small one over there. The one with the weird eyes." Hagrid brought over a Mugwig that had large, shifty looking obsidian eyes. Malfoy and Hermione released their Mugwigs, and waited for them to bring back stuff. Although Malfoy's Mugwig had the advantage of size, it was it's only advantage. It was slow, clumsy and stupid, and broke several of the objects, so they weren't counted. Hermione however, chose wisely. Hers was light, quick and speedy and in no time she had a pile of stuff before her. At the end of the lesson Hermione had a small mountain before her while Malfoy only had a few small objects. 

"Ha ha Malfoy! Looks like you lost!" Ron shouted out. 

"Well I can see that you stupid part!" Malfoy snapped back. Damn…what was he going to do now? On the same point, what exactly _was_ Hermione going to make him do? "Alright Granger, what do I have to do now? Let's get it over with."

"No rush Malfoy, no rush…" Hermione said. What was she going to do with Malfoy? Out of the corner of her eye she could spot Dean talking off his hat and she suddenly got an idea. A malicious smile crept onto her face.

"What? What is it do I have to do?" Malfoy demanded. "I'm not doing anything sexual or anything like that!" He said in quite a bit of a hurry.

"Don't worry Malfoy, no sexual favors like that." Hermione laughed. "Just be in the Great Hall at 7 tonight."

"What do you want me to do?!" Malfoy demanded a second time. He was getting impatient.

"You'll find out tonight." The school bell rang and the students started to go their separate ways. "Oh, and Malfoy?" She called out after him.

"What is it Granger?!" Malfoy turned around, his face set in silent fury.

"Just remember one thing…" She looked at her fellow Gryffindors, who had stopped to see what she was going to say. "_You can leave your hat on…_" She sang. The Slytherin's faces were blank, trying to figure out her 'cryptic' message. Dean Thomas just laughed and said "Ooo, your _evil_ Hermione!" The Muggle borns got her message, and the ones who didn't were left wondering. "See you at 7 tonight then Malfoy." Hermione said over her shoulder as she walked away.

"So what exactly is it that you're going to make the little git do?" asked Ron, since, him being wizard born, he had no idea exactly what the phrase _You can leave your hat on_ meant.

"Not saying."

"But why? We're going to find out anyways tonight-"

"No you aren't." Ron stopped dead in his tracks.

"WHAT! You mean to tell me that I cannot watch my greatest enemy's humiliation?"

"Not just you, all the boys in Gryffindor. Only girls allowed."

"This must be some task your setting for him." Harry said, a tad disappointed, but ok with Herm's decision none the less.

"Yes Harry, yes it is…" Hermione had a secret little smile and was laughing to herself as she walked off.

~~~ Later on, at 7 ~~~

Malfoy stood in the Great Hall, alone, looking up at the starry night above. Dammit! Where was the little Mudblood! He looked around him, but Hermione was nowhere to be seen.

"Where the bloody hell are you Granger!" He yelled out loud.

"Right behind you, twit." As Hermione said, she was right behind him, flanked on her right and left by Pavariti and Lavender. One had a blindfold; the other had Prof. Sprout's earmuffs that blocked out sound. Pavariti grabbed Malfoy and tied the blindfold on his head.

"What the-" Malfoy spluttered.

"We're talking you to the Gryfindor common room to do your task, Hermione whispered into his ear. "We're just making sure you won't be able to get back in." Hermione then put the earmuffs over his ears and he wasn't able to hear a thing. The next thing he saw was inside the common room. The room was filled with giggling girls, and in the center was a round table and beside it, on a chair, was a wizard stereo. The girls parted a path for hi and shoved him onto the table.

"You gotta dance." Hermione said, giggling like mad. Malfoy breathed a sigh of relief. Thank god he didn't have to do anything such as-

"And you gotta strip while your doing it."

"WHAT THE BLOODY HELL!!!!!!!!" Malfoy screamed. He tried jumping off the table, but he just ended up crowd surfing back on to the table.

"Hey, it's not anything sexual, you just dancing while taking off your clothes." Lavender said, laughing like the rest. Hermione pressed the button on the stereo and a song came on. She pointed her wand at Malfoy and just said "Dance!"

Baby Take off your coat 

_Reeeeeeeaaaaaalllllll slow_

_Baby take off your shoes_

_I'll help you take off your shoes_

_Baby take off your dress_

_Yes, yes yes_

_You can leave your hat on_

_You can leave your hat on_

_You can leave your hat on…_

_ _

Malfoy had by this time gotten him robe off. Suprisingly enough, he was wearing muggle clothes underneath. At the tempo picked up, he got more unto it, even dancing around a bit. The girls squealed and giggled, and the guys upstairs just wondered what was going on. Malfoy ripped his shirt off and twirled it around in the air. Somewhere, a camera flashed, but he didn't really pay any attention to it. He started to work on his belt…

Go over there 

_Turn on the light_

_No, all the lights_

_Come back here, _

_Stand on a chair_

_Ooo baby, that's right._

_Raise your arms in the air_

_Ooo ooo ooo, now shake em'_

_That's right_

_You give me reason to live_

_You give me reason to live_

_You give me reason to live_

_You give me reason to liIiIiIiIiIive…_

His belt was now off, and he flung in into the crowd. He was really getting into this for some odd reason. All that was left now was his pants, shoes, socks, and well, _hopefully_ for Malfoy, his boxers…or is it briefs? He reached down, wiggling and dancing, pulled his shoes off, and then his socks, and threw those off into the crowd. Now he just had to get his pants. He reached down for the fly…

Suspicious minds are talking 

_They're trying to turn us apart_

_They don't believe in this love of mine_

_They don't know what love is…_

_ _

He arched his eyebrow at the crowd, as if to tease them. Then, in one fluid sudden movement, he pulled his pants off and flung those out too, and the question was finally solved…….

BREIFS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Malfoy just danced around a bit more, until the song ended. The girls whooped and hollered and he jumped off the table and landed in front of Hermione.

"Alright Granger, I did my task, now can I have my clothes and go?" He started to look around for his clothes when two 6 years suddenly grabbed his arms and held him tight.

"Ooo, girls, I didn't know I put on that good of a performance." He said laughing. "Now let me go."

No response.

"I said let me go."

Still nothing.

"What the bloody hell is this Granger?" he said, twisting, trying to escape their grasp, but they held on tight.

"Hold on Malfoy, I'm not done with you yet." Hermione said, the crowd moving in. Malfoy screamed bloody murder as he was engulphed in the crowed, but no one heard him over the sound of the girls laughing like mad.

"What do you suppose they're doing down there with Malfoy?" Ron asked Harry, Seamus, Dean and Neiville.

"Don't know." answered Dean.

"Don't want to know." added Seamus.

"I almost feel sorry for Malfoy…" Harry mused. Seeing the shocked look on the other's faces he quickly added "Almost! I said Almost!"

When the girls let off, Malfoy was left looking… um… rather foolish… hehehe. He had on a red polka dot dress, underneath that was a stuffed wonder bra. The girls had put on a blonde wig on him and did his make up to make him look like a hooker. On his feet were stilettos, at least 4 inches. Someone produced an instant wizard camera, and took quite a few shots. Hermione took one and walked over to Malfoy, holding it in her hand.

"Now Malfoy," she began. " All us girls have promised not to say anything about tonight under a few… conditions."

"Alright Mudblood, what are they?"

"First off, you don't call anyone Mudblood. Or insult us. And stop making fun of Ron's family. And of Nelville. In fact, don't insult any of us. Or else we'll copy each and every one of these pictures we took and distribute them around the school. Can't imagine your father liking that now, hmm? Also, stop trying to frame non-Slytherins. And if I ever hear about you making one more comment about Hagrid…" she warned.

"Alright, alright! I get the point! No more fun." Malfoy grimaced. "Can I go now?" The girls gave him back his clothes, took back the stuff, washed off the makeup, and let him go. The next day, every time he saw a female Gryffindor they giggled like mad and started to holler and catcall. Much to the dismay of the other students, no one would tell what had happened that night in the Gryffindor common room. And in a little box, up in Hermione's room, the pictures lay, hopefully, for Malfoy's sake and reputation, never to be disturbed.

FIN  
~~~

AN: So? What did u think? That little box down there isn't for nothing. R&R, or I'll set my army of evil squabit's upon you.


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